“The antidote to shame is vulnerability.” – Christen Bensten
No one wants to talk about things that make them feel sad or badly about themselves. I think the things that trigger women, unfortunately, have to do with appearance, and weight is probably at the top of the list. It goes without saying that our looks have nothing to do with the impossible standards we hold ourselves to. It is the idea that we will not be able to feel valued, important and get the attention we deserve without our outer shell being perfect. We are all striving to be understood and known and I think this can get twisted up in our outward appearance. If we can just make it perfect, then we will get the love we deserve. Does this ring true for you? If so, you are not alone.
Well, I know that I feel this way. I have spent the last 10 years chasing kids and have been so blessed doing so. These are the building years where the time you spend focusing on the kids will affect how they feel when they are older and so, for me, there has been nothing more important. But, I have been stressed. I have been emotional. I have been working really, really hard. And what do I do when I’m stressed, emotional and tired from working – I eat what I feel like I deserve.
Then I diet and exercise. South Beach, Weight Watchers, My Fitness Pal Tracker and five days a week at the gym. I’m talking front of the class, high intensity work outs. Then I’d stop eating right (which, for the record if you are working out like crazy but eating poorly YOU WILL NOT LOSE WEIGHT.). Then I’d go gang busters again. There is a name for this: Yo Yo Dieting. And it got me into trouble. I went through a time where I just tried to embrace my new body because after all I was turning 40, I had had three children and it’s ok.
Then I got some test results from my endocrinologist. This is where I start to feel super vulnerable, guys, so be gentle with me. I can’t believe I’m sharing this.
I was told that I was in a pre-diabetic stage. I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome), which is basically a hormone issue that leaves women exposed to diabetes, infertility and other scary things. It was making a real appearance in my life and I was scared out of my mind. (PS, I am also hypothyroid with Hashimoto Disease and take anti-depressant, which is a difficult trifecta) But, I didn’t know what to do?!
Sugar. I cut out all sugar, which means carbs too, and lost some weight over the summer. But it wasn’t until I heard about the Ideal Protein Diet that my body started to change.
It is a weekly weigh-in, 4 step program focused on increasing your protein and cutting out toxic sugars.
I started after Halloween and in these two months, I’ve lost 20 pounds. That’s right, 20 pounds. This is not just a diet, this is a life changing program. I know you’ve heard that before, but this is different and I’m a testament.
I’ll outline the program and my process in the coming days so keep reading. In the meantime, I am going through my closet today and donating a ton of larger sizes that I never want to see again.
Now this is vulnerability. Gulp.